Mockumentary on Tank Driver's Day

Tank Driver: Hello. I'm just your everyday soldier with the Chinese army. Um... I'm not supposed to tell you my name because of government restrictions and all that, but yeah... here's my day! Today's actually a unique day. I get to put down a student revolt in my cool tank. Yup. She's my baby.

Wait, who's that? Oh, look! A student! Look at how small he looks compared to my tank. Shouldn't he be in school?

Student: I won't let you pass!

Tank Driver: OUT OF MY WAY, PUNK!

He needs to be spanked. Why won't he let me through?!

Move damn-it!

Student: NO! *waves bags defiantly*

Tank Driver: Move or I'll beat your ass!

Student: What'd you say? *starts climbing on tank*

Tank Driver: Oh f*ck! He's gonna thunk me! Oh my god! I knew it! I should've followed my dream and become a gangster rapper! What do I doo?? *Looks around* Oh! How convenient! An instruction manual! *Quickly grabs* OW! PAPER CUT! *Starts reading...*

**mumble** middle of the street **mumble** eyes open **mumble** WHAT THE HELL! These are instructions on how to be a student protestor! Oh, wait. I know. =)

*Opens up laptop and starts to type on fmylife.com

~ So I was heading toward the student protest at Tiananmen Square when I ran into some trouble. This guy was standing in my way! I read an instruction manual I found, hoping to find a way to deal with this problem. The manual was titled How to Be A Protestor. I'm a soldier. FML.

Absurdist writing?

~ Chin Ngo