- My cell-phone's alarm clock woke me up at 7:30a.m.
- I hit the snooz button 4 times before I finally got up at 8:10a.m.
- I jump off my bed, and i stretched my arms up.
- I walk slowly to the restroom with my eyes still kind of close.
- Being semi-awake, I hit my gums while brushing my teeth. The pain really woke me up. Blood flows out of my gum, so I try goggling water to wash it out.
- I get out of my room and saw that all the light were off and thought that probably my roommates are still sound asleep.
- I turned on the light and got a cup out of the diswasher.
- I mixed honey with cold water first and then some hot water. While drinking my hot water, I change out of my pajamas.
- I turned on my computer while preparing my breakfast.
- I checked my email as I drink my soymilk and sandwich.
- Jia Hui Huang
Hi Jia,
ReplyDeleteGood job. This is a very careful description of the sequence of events. The blood is a good, strange detail that keeps me (as a reader) interested.
You might want to think about verb tense as you are writing. For example, this would be more clear and consistent:
"8. I mixed honey with cold water first and then some hot water. While drinking my hot water, I changed out of my pajamas.
9. I turned on my computer while preparing my breakfast."
or you could change the whole passage to present tense as long as you are consistent. For example:
"8. I mix honey with cold water first and then some hot water. While drinking my hot water, I change out of my pajamas.
9. I turn on my computer while preparing my breakfast."
Could you please look up the artist, On Kawara in the UCI library, check out one of the books on him, and bring the book to class on July 9th...